Mad World
by Zoraya Windwalker
Summary: What if the best dream you ever had, is the one of your death? And would you rather live one human life and be content, or take forever and let your heart be over-full with everything, all the time?   I know, I suck at summaries...just go and read *gg*


I know I should write on my other story, but the idea to this oneshot got stuck in my head, and wouldn't let me write anything else.

I dedicate this to AVECIA, my awesome beta (happy birthday my dear, even if it is too late… I can't BELIEVE that I forgot to wish you a happy birthday…*ashesonmyhead*).

As always, I don't own anything about the VD, I just mess with them because it's just so much fun.

OH, and the song it 'Mad world'. I wrote the story to the version from 'Gary Jules'. You should listen to it, it creates the right mood!

Now, on with it!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

_And I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad,_

_The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had_

Elena sat in front of her vanity, closely studying her face. She had grown older in the last few years – of course she had.

She was 24 now, and she looked it, too.

No longer was she looking at Katherine, every time she caught her face in a mirror.

She had filled out, her breasts bigger, her hips a bit wider – ready to bear a child eventually – though her waist was smaller than before. Any model would be jealous of her figure.

Her face was more slender too, the last bits of the round, childish cheeks gone.

With the new haircut – the tips of her chestnut locks just touching her shoulders – she looked very mature.

There was no longer a haunted look in her eyes, no worries about what dark creature might wait for her just around the corner.

The vampires and Werewolves had made a 'pact of peace' between them. Both sides had sworn to protect Mystic Falls from any danger of the supernatural kind – in exchange for the allowance to live their lives (or un-lives) in peace, without being hunted down by the Founders Council.

Of course there were rules to all of this. No murders, on top of everything else.

It was strange, living in Mystic Falls these days. There were a lot of people who knew of the things that go bump in the night, but nobody here seemed to care anymore.

It wasn't like the vampires were running around, showing of their fangs and vein-y faces. And you wouldn't meet a wolf running around at night, either.

It was just something everybody knew, and nobody talked about. And Elena was right in the middle of it all.

She had joined the Founders Council on the day she turned 21; she was a friend to the vampires (at least to the ones who weren't trying to kill her on a daily basis) and the resident witch. Her brother was _involved_ with the Alpha of the werewolf pack (though Jeremy and Tyler still hadn't come round to tell anybody officially. Even after four fucking years. Boys sometimes...).

Anybody with a problem with either of these parties came to her before they tried to talk to anyone else.

And it was okay with her, for the most part.

On some days she wished to have a normal life, sure, but on a whole she couldn't wish for a better one.

Her days were full of things to do, she never got bored.

She had the best friends in the whole world and a fiancé that loved the ground she walked on.

_Fiancé_.

It still sounded kind of strange in her ears, this word. When she was 17, struggling to understand that her world wasn't just black and white; when she found out about a doppelganger, vampires, her birthmother that _was_ one… yeah, when she was 17 she thought her world would shatter, never to be whole again.

But she was wrong, then.

They fought Katherine off – got her in chains, pumped her so full of vervain that even _she_ couldn't fight it off, and were ready to kill her.

But in the end, not one of them pulled through with it. Damon wanted to – he was the only one, out of the three of them, though.

Stefan was all torn up about everything. To know that the woman _really_ was in love with him, even if her way of showing it was sick and twisted, made him all uncomfortable and guilty.

And Elena…Elena felt a pang of sympathy for her, outshining anything else. She could relate to her, too. Fate had been an outright bitch to the both of them; throwing rocks in their way where it could.

So she opened the chains, held a bottle of blood out to her and told her to leave. Leave, and never come back, because she wouldn't spare her a second time.

And she really did disappear. For about four months.

Then, one day, she just came up the driveway to Elena's home and knocked on the door, just like that.

And the weirdest thing about it all? She came to apologize. It seemed the fact that her life had been spared, got her thinking. Got her to let go of Stefan, so that he could be happy. Then she gave her a manila folder and was gone again. She hadn't seen her since.

In the folder was the description of a spell. Every step for it, everything that would be needed.

It was designed to turn a vampire human again. It hadn't been easy to accomplish.

Took a lot of energy out of Bonnie; nearly killed her.

For Stefan it had been the ultimate salvation, though. He had hated what he had been – that he needed the blood of others to survive himself, that he always craved it; that he had this monster, this _demon_ inside of him. It had taken a few weeks for him to adapt to having a beating heart again. He overestimated his strength all the time in the beginning, and his immune system had been shot to all hell – it had taken a long time to regenerate.

But in the end, it had been worth it all.

Damon had disappeared, though. Right after they were sure that Stefan would be alright, he had packed his things and had left Mystic Falls. She hadn't seen him since, only talked on the phone with him; occasionally. She missed him – as he missed her – but they never actually spoke the words. It was forbidden; because in the moment they would voice it, they wouldn't be able to be apart anymore.

They both knew this, and ignored it. Elena should be with Stefan. He was the right choice. The safe one; the one who could give her a normal life – or at normal as it could get, in Mystic Falls.

Now Elena was 24 and so was Stefan (at least he was in looks).

But neither of those things were the reason why she was sitting here, in the near-dark and staring at her reflection.

She would marry in a few days – everything was ready; everything was _perfect_.

Her dress was beautiful, just as she had imagined it would be when she was just a child.

The dresses of the bridesmaids were pretty, too (not frilly or a horrible color). The flowers were ready to be delivered – lilies and roses; simple and traditional.

Food was ordered, and invitations sent. Bonnie would be her maid of honor, and Jeremy would be the one to lead her to the altar.

She was happy and content. She knew that she and Stefan would live their lives, grow old and gray, and have a bunch of children together.

But lately something in the back of her mind was nagging at her.

A tiny voice that kept telling her that _happy_ and _content_ wasn't what it should be.

That her heart should be aflame with rapture, that she should want to dance and laugh; to cry and scream… that she should want to hug the whole world.

But Stefans love wasn't like that. It was quiet and thoughtful and gentle. It was safe and kept her warm. It would never try to burn her.

And this voice sounded strangely like Damons. The feeling it described – it was the feeling she always had when she went head to head with the vampire. When sparks flew every-which-direction and set the both of – and everything around -them on fire.

But Damon wasn't made for her human life. He would never have given up on being a vampire. He liked the fact that he was superior to humans; that he could snap a neck without a moments notice, that he could compel everyone to do his bidding. He reveled on the feeling of fresh, human blood flooding his mouth and veins.

So she had choked the flames, trampled the feelings that had begun to grow within her, even before they could settle inside of her.

She wouldn't allow for her heart to be torn apart by the brothers.

It had been the right choice for her – forever would be such a long, long time. When she thought of Stefan, she just couldn't imagine it. She loved him, very much so. And she was perfectly fine with growing old with him – to never be with someone else, for as long as her live lasted. But only as long as it stayed like this. Human, and sure to end sooner or later.

Suddenly she grew angry, then with jerky motions she pushed herself off of the chair she sat in, and paced the room from one side to the other; again, and again.

"And all because of a stupid _dream_, for god's sake."

Yeah, and what a dream it had been….

_She stood on a clearing in the woods just outside of Mystic Falls. She remembered it from a few hiking trips she'd gone to with her parents._

_As she looked down, she saw that the only thing she wore was a white nightgown – not even shoes. It was dark, with the stars and a crescent moon high in the sky. She knew it wasn't safe to be alone in the woods – it was even stupider to do so in the night._

_But she wasn't afraid, not even a little bit._

_As she heard the snapping of a twig behind her, she turned around, already knowing who would be there._

_And she had been right. He came out of the shadows of the trees, and the moonlight bathed him in an ethereal light. It shimmered in his dark hair, and his eyes seemed an even lighter shade of blue than usual. __**Angelic**__, she thought; and had to laugh in the next moment._

_Because angelic was the last word he could _ever_ be described as. Quite the opposite, actually._

"_You look beautiful tonight, Elena."_

_Her feet carried her to him, and they met in the middle of the clearing, standing just a few inches apart._

"_Damon." Just one word, but it rolled off of her tongue as if it belonged to her. He leaned down to her, then, and captured her lips in a soft and gentle kiss._

_It didn't take long for it to turn heavier, fiercer, though. As they lay on the ground afterwards, their clothes around and under them, it was the most peaceful she had felt in a long time._

_He played with her hair with one hand, the other holding her close to him, while she drew lazy circles on his chest._

"_Are you ready yet?" It was asked in a near whisper, but she had no problem hearing him._

"_Ready for what?" She knew what he meant, but she asked anyway. It was always like this with them. They understood the other without a problem, but always pretended otherwise._

"_To start eternity. It is the right time. You are no longer looking like a 17-year-old girl. Or like Katherine. We look the same age, now. It would be perfect."_

_She didn't answer him at first, just watching his face. He looked so free – like the weight that had pushed him down for so long, was finally gone._

"_Don't ask silly questions Damon. You know I'm ready. Would I be here, otherwise?"_

_He just smiled at her__, bit into his wrist until he had drawn blood and brought it to her mouth._

_She didn't hesitate, not even for a second, as she closed her lips over the wound, and swallowed the thick substance._

_When he deemed it enough, he drew his hand away and looked deep into her eyes before he rolled them around, so she lay under him._

_And as he clamped his hand around her throat, cutting off her air supply she __couldn't even muster up to struggle. She just smiled for him, and concentrated on his eyes._

_As she felt her heartbeat grow fainter and her head begin to swim – as she was dying – she finally felt alive._

_**Strange**__, she thought. __**That the moment I die, I'm the happiest I've been in so long.**_

This night hadn't been the first she had had this dream. It had plagued her now for the better part of two months – ever since Damon had called his brother, to confirm that he would be his best man.

And she was really tired of it. It wasn't right. Pure madness was what this was.

She dreamed of Damon, of dying – of becoming and eternally damned… and it was the best dream she ever had.

She looked into the mirror once again, but couldn't stand to look at herself right now.

So she finally climbed into her lonely bed –she and Stefan had decided that she would spend the last few days before the wedding in her old home.

And as she drifted off, right on the brink between awake and sleeping, she couldn't help but think that an eternity with Damon didn't scare her half as much as a human lifetime with Stefan.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Elena stood in front of the doors to the church, with her brother beside her.

Her hair was in an elaborate up-do and she had on a light make up. The dress had no straps, and the bodice was a piece of art; the bottom half a silky dream, flowing around her feet like flower petals.

She could hear the beginnings of a classical song they had decided on, and then the doors opened.

As they began their walk down the aisle, every single head was turned to her.

She held her head high and had a soft smile on her lips. It was perfect. It was everything she had ever wanted, ever since she had played wedding with Bonnie, Caroline and Matt in his tree house.

They came to a stop in front of the altar and Jeremy lifted the veil to kiss her on the forehead.

"I love you, sis."

With that he grinned at Stefan, put her hand into that of her soon-to-be husband, and took his seat in the front row.

Right between Alaric and Isobel so the two of them wouldn't start a fight (and who would have thought that her birthmother would be here on this day?).

She hadn't wasted a thought on Damon, even though he stood right next to Stefan.

Until the priest spoke those god-forsaken words.

_Till death will do you apart._

It was then that she realized – She wouldn't be satisfied with it. Living _one_ life, and dying an old age.

But as she finally looked at Damon, saw the sadness in his eyes; saw that he would rather be doing anything else, than be standing there watching her getting married to his brother, she knew.

She knew that with Damon, one life wouldn't be enough.

With him, she would want forever. Because she would never grow tired of him, never would be bored or _just_ content with anything.

And Stefan saw it, too. He saw the exact moment were everything got turned upside down.

That_ one human life_ wasn't what she needed.

He didn't get angry, and not even really sad.

He just gave her a crooked smile, and before she could say anything – apologize; or force herself to just continue anyway – he turned to their guests and told them that there would be no wedding. And there were shocked faces, sure. But as she looked at her closest family and friends all she could make out were knowing expressions – the same expression that was on Stefans face.

They had known all along and had decided that she had to figure it out herself.

She just shook her head… sometimes fate really _was_ a teasing bitch.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Later that week she lay in a clearing, naked, with Damon on top of her, with a crescent moon and stars watching them.

It wasn't the clearing from her dream – they were in a remote landscape, some were in Europe; not even near Mystic Falls.

But as she tasted his blood on her tongue – as he pressed his hands down on her throat, she couldn't help but think how strange it was, that death wouldn't force them apart, but would give them the opportunity of forever.

-end-

So, this time this will REALLY stay a oneshot *gg*.

Now, please tell me if you liked or hated it (just click on the little button below)!

So long,

Zora


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